Player One
by Beyond The Horizon
Summary: After Kyle and Cartman cancel at the last minute, Stan is stuck playing video games with Kenny. Unfortunately, both of them want to be Player One. Light Stan/Kenny. Mentions of Stan/Wendy.


I leaned forward and focused all my concentration on the television that sat a mere three feet away. My fingers skilfully tapped my game controller's button at a seemingly inhuman rate as I watched my character scamper out of a potentially fatal line of fire. I could feel a cool bead of sweat forming on my forehead. I quickly executed my triple attack and roll manoeuvre and managed to deliver a few headshots to an unfortunate player that had turned his back to me for a second too long. A smile displaying my sense of victory spread across my face. I took a moment to run my free hand through my coal black hair and turned towards the fellow gamer on my left.

Kenny McCormick had adopted a very lax stance against my couch while he lazily tapped away at his fire button. The blonde's expression resembled one of possible boredom as he mercilessly delivered headshot after headshot to any player that entered his line of vision. With a lollipop stick protruding from his slightly parted lips and his legs crossed, Kenny looked like he wasn't the least bit worried about bring shot down. His blue eyes met mine and he gave me a grin. "Hey Marsh, you still trying to beat me?"

I snapped out of my gaze and nodded quickly. "I haven't lost a game yet." I turned my attention back to the television.

I secretly missed by best friend sitting next to me as we played Call of Victory. We would yell at the opposing players and form alliances behind each other's back. Naturally, we always played 'double agent' with our opposing teams and always helped each other out. Kenny was more of a lone player. He preferred not to play in teams and we always played in almost complete silence.

While Kyle always took up the position of Player Two without question, I had to actually fight Kenny for that position. He calmly stated that he was never Player Two and whenever he played a first person shooter, the title of first player belonged to him. Needless to say, I grew a little frustrated with his stubbornness and demanded that I was Player One since it was my house. He shrugged off my frustration and suggested a wager.

We would play Last Man Standing mode and the last man standing was, well, the winner. I was fairly confident in gaming skills since I actually owned the game and I get a good three hours of gameplay each day. The winner would claim Player One's position for future games. Trivial, I know, but when you care about your game system as much as I do, you'd understand where I was coming from. The title of Player One was essentially the world's way of knowing how much of a badass you were.

Where was Kyle and Cartman, you may ask? Well, Cartman was sick with the flu and Kyle had to babysit Ike. Of course, they didn't tell me this until an hour ago. It was under my impression that Kyle would be sitting next to me and Kenny would be on my far right. To be honest, I had hoped that Kenny would be the one who couldn't make it. I know that makes me sound like a douche since I'm supposedly Kenny's closest friend but he couldn't take the place of Kyle. Maybe if he let me be Player One…

My ringtone sounded from beside me. I looked over and read Wendy's name on the display. I casually ignored my phone and moved my character off to the side and behind some red oil barrels. I had already let Wendy's phone calls go to voice mail twice before but I couldn't give up my chance at winning my title back. Wendy would have to wait. "You going to pick that up, dude?" Kenny asked. Although I couldn't see his facial expression, I could tell that he was smiling from ear to ear.

"Nope." I answered. "I'm not going to lose this game just because Wendy's calling." My character jumped out from the oil drums and shot down three players who were just beginning to retreat. I was definitely going to win this…

"Why do you date her? Besides her smoking hot body and nice set of tits, she's high maintenance." Kenny asked.

"Shut up, dude. That's my girlfriend you're talking about." I snapped. I shot a quick look at Kenny's side of the split screen to get an idea of where he was located. His character was in a completely dark area with a clear view of the players running past him and yet, none were shooting at him. Where the fuck was he?

"I'm just saying that you always seem so goddamn depressed whenever she's around." I watched as Kenny's character performed a silent takedown move on a soldier trying to gain more ammo. "You break up like every other day. Stop acting like a little bitch all the time."

"I'm not acting like a little bitch." I replied. "Wendy and I have something special. I'm sorry if sleeping with every human being in South Park isn't the American Dream."

"I didn't say it was. I'm just saying, while you have to sit and listen to her girl troubles, I'm sleeping with a new girl or guy each night. There's no commitment and no tears. When it comes to sex, everything's easy." Kenny gave an audible yawn but quickly covered his mouth. "Do you have anything to eat?"

"Didn't you eat when you came over here?" I asked, nailing a poor unsuspecting soul in the crotch.

"Oh yeah, I forgot that frozen waffles covered all my nutritional needs for the day." Kenny said, sarcasm in his words. "Did you have to make your player so gay?" Kenny asked looking over at my screen.

"My guy's hard core." I defended. "He has the latest armour and grenades that outline his camouflage vest. Also, he has the fucking awesome glasses. At least mine doesn't have boobs."

"Any straight guy would go straight for the chick with the humungous boobs. I don't know why you'd want some gay ass soldier. Not to mention, I get a nice view of her boobs whenever I pass a glass wall. See?" I turned to his screen and watched him make his character jump a few times, making her boobs jiggle up and down. I rolled my eyes and turned back to the goal at hand.

"Okay, Ken. Cut the bullshit and come out of your goddamn hiding spot." I exclaimed, getting fed up with the amount of time it took for me to actually find the parka wearing teen. A flash of orange caught my eye on my screen which provoked a quick response on my end of the game.

"Says the pussy who hides behind the oil drums the entire game and only takes down the players who come his way." Kenny fired back as he changed his weapon and began moving towards an unseen target.

"It's called strategy and besides, I finally caught a glimpse of your orange nametag. I know where you are." I said smugly.

My character turned down a few alley ways and across one of the wooden bridges, deeper into the marketplace. I smiled as I saw an orange dot appear on my game map. "Alright, Kenny. We're going to finish this now." I shifted through my weapons until I pulled out my winter sniper. I had been saving it all through the game for Kenny. The gun was extremely rare to find on the playing field and one shot killed all.

Kenny gave me a thumbs up. "If you say so, Marsh. On the count of three, we both jump out and shoot until one of us dies. Ready?" I nodded and cast a quick glance to the blonde. "One…" I loaded my sniper and put on the armour I picked up earlier in the game. My eyes locked onto the flickering orange dot that was on my radar. He was right around the corner. "Two…" I looked once more at his screen which showed only darkness. He was facing the wall. I had him pinned.

Without waiting for Kenny's signal, I moved my character around the corner and began to shoot the player. Kenny gave an audible sigh next to me as my character send a sniper shot through the neck of the target, his character falling to the ground in a pool of blood.

"I did it! I beat you!" I jumped in the air and did a fist pump in celebration. "You told me I couldn't do it. I sure showed you, Kenny." I began to do my victory dance that I only reserved for football touchdowns. Kenny removed the lollipop stick from his mouth and watched me dance in front of him.

"While this is all very fun to watch, I think you should pick up Slayer532's ammo so you can finish the game." I stopped dancing and raised an eyebrow. I turned back towards the game and my eyes widened in realization. The nametag that hovered over the dead character's body read 'Slayer532'. I looked at the screen in confusion. I sat back down and replayed the events in my mind once more. No, I…killed him.

I looked at Kenny's screen and saw in horror that Kenny had come out of his hiding place and held his gun to the back of my soldier's head. "I told you to wait for three, Marsh." Kenny said, rolling his eyes. I made a dive for the controller but Kenny had already pulled the trigger of his golden sniper, sending a bullet through the back of my head. Blood washed over my screen and the dreaded words came up. "You have been defeated by _'BewbsPlz'_. Ranking: 2nd."

I stared at the screen in shock. He had killed me. He had actually beaten me. I turned to my blonde friend, my mouth agape. Kenny brushed the blonde hair out of his eyes and pulled down his fur trimmed hood. "You look surprised." Kenny noted, a cheeky smile forming on his lips. "I guess I win."

"But…how?" I asked in astonishment.

Kenny paused for a moment before giving a shrug and moving his character away from my bleeding body. He moved to the corner of the screen where a dumpster occupied space. I gave him a confused look and opened my mouth to speak. "Just watch." Kenny proceeded to change weapons until he got to the Swiss Army knife, a normally useless weapon. He aimed the cursor towards the lower corner of the dumpster and 'stabbed' the corner. No sooner had he done it, the character fell through the floor and he was able to walk below the ground and shoot upwards at other players.

I watched in wonder as his character went behind the walls and made his way through the environment, entirely unseen by the other gamers. His character moved behind one of the buildings until he picked up a golden sniper, a glitch in the game that programmers had supposedly gotten rid of. "That's how I killed you."

"That's…that's…" My eyes met Kenny's, the smirk still on his lips. "That's cheating!" I exclaimed pointing a finger at the teen.

"Excuse me?" Kenny asked, his expression changing completely.

"You heard me. You cheated. You didn't win the bet because you cheated." Kenny moved my accusing finger away from his chest and gave me a bemused look. "I knew you couldn't have beaten me without cheating."

"Sorry, Marsh. Those weren't the rules we agreed upon. We said Last Man Standing. You didn't say a thing about cheats." Kenny defended.

"I thought it was implied. I mean, I thought this game had no cheats." I replied meekly. I felt foolish for not having found the cheats before Kenny. Kenny, the teen who didn't even own this game, had found a cheat sooner than me.

"What are you going to do about it?" Kenny challenged, leaning towards me. He gave me a light push backwards, forcing me back on my hands. "Are you afraid that I'm going to steal everything else from you too? Can't bear the thought of your precious title being taken away?" Something about the way he said those words really pissed me off. I was captain of the football team, basketball team and the baseball team. I wasn't going to let him get away with that.

Kenny started to stand up but my fingers grasped the end of his orange sweater and pulled him back down. He turned to me just in time to see me launch myself at him, trying to pin him to the ground. "Wrestling, Stan? I thought we outgrew that in third grade."

He was quicker than I thought. He responded instantly to my offensive stance and positioned his legs underneath my stomach and forcing his legs upwards, forcing me off of him. No sooner was I off; he jumped at me and struggled with my flailing hands. I managed to stick one hand around his waist and force him to flip around, so that I was on top again. "I was part of the wrestling team in junior high, Ken. I was one of their star members."

"The wrestling team? You did this for fun? You sure you aren't hiding something, Marsh?" The blonde asked, fighting against my hands.

"What do you mean?" I questioned, my brow furrowed.

"Do you like being on top of other boys?" Kenny asked, a perverted look on his face. "I'll be honest. Wrestling with a bunch of half-naked boys, doesn't it seem a little…"

I realized what he was implying almost instantly. I felt my face go red. "Shut up, McCormick!" I growled. I regretted inviting him here in the first place. The pervert always pushed things too far.

Kenny gently ran his tongue over his slightly chapped lips. "Make me." In a quick motion, Kenny wrapped his legs around my waist and flipped me over once more. I landed hard on my back and I winced as a shot of pain jolted through my body. Kenny had pinned my arms to the floor and was straddling my waist. From this position, I was beginning to see what he meant about wrestling.

Kenny leaned down until our faces were a few inches apart. I felt uncomfortable under his gaze and shifted awkwardly. He moved his leg to take the place of his left hand that was pinning him down. He ruffled my black hair and gave a half-smile. "Don't think about it too much, Stan." He said, referencing our wrestling team talk a few moments ago. "I'm the town pervert; I'm **supposed** to make you question your sexuality." He gave me a light punch in the arm and started to move off of me. I was about to gain the feeling in my limbs back before he seemingly changed his mind and turned back towards me.

Gripping my chin and forcing my eyes to meet his, his chapped lips curved back into a playful smile. "For the record, I'm ALWAYS Player One."


End file.
